…so long…

I remember just being the outsider looking in, never quite understanding anything. Being the one who never fit in, never quite belonged, never quite felt comfortable. But that eventually passed.

It was lifetimes ago and yet I remember interviewing Monica, Ray J, Fabolous; I remember press events meeting Wyclef Jean, screening Aaliyah’s movie and her final release party before her untimely death – being in the same room as she, not knowing it would be the final time. Valentine’s Day showing up with a bear and chocolates for R&B singer Brandy after her mom invited me to “A Tribute for Rod Stewart” by Atlantic Records, a private party.

And then travelling the world working with AIDS orphans in Zambia, South Africa, and Kenya, 5 trips in 2 1/2 years, it was an amazing run. Vistiting Amsterdam, London, and other places along the way was so exciting, and truly believing I was making a difference out there, experiencing different cultures and ways of life, new civilizations, going where I hadn’t gone before. Lost a child on the last adventure. I think I underestimated how much losing a 6 week old child does to one’s sense of adventure.

And most recently, lived two lives at once, helping run a film company, getting to visit film sets across the country, spending time with Garcelle Beauvis, Matthew Marsden, Doug Jones, Dan Ireland, Jonathan Shepard, and so many others, returning to L.A. – the site of the final film set – with the help of my guide Alexis to work with the homeless, and at the same time running an open home for teens in East Nashville, allowing them in 24/7 for rest, food, sanctuary, training, and recreation.

Now…I’m a parent. In my 11th month of parenting. A new adventure entirely. The things on my mind these days are parenting the best way I know how, and hoping to find my friend Alexis one day in the future. I’ve not asked for much for myself over the years, but finding her in the future would be a nice kiss to the past.